The 13 best moments from Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe and Diana Taurasi's 4-hour IG live

Need I say more? Cliiick.

Good morning.

I’m gonna stop talking now.

Let’s just get to the good stuff.

(And also sorry for the curse words, but I didn’t do it. Sue and Diana did),,,

Here’s Basketball


Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe’s Instagram live show last week with Diana Taurasi and Penny Taylor lasted for more than four hours. It didn’t end until Rapinoe was passed out drunk off-screen, and Taylor begged her wife to log off. This night was survival of the soberest significant other, and the most entertaining unscripted 246 consecutive minutes I’ve ever watched. I’m here to catch you up on everything you missed.

For those who don’t already know, Bird and Taurasi are two of sports’ greatest story-tellers. I wrote about the 30-for-30 podcast they launched a few months ago on the time they played basketball for a Russian spy here. These two have lived multiple lifetimes worth basketball stories, yet they’re still playing in the WNBA and are also pursuing their fifth (!?!) Olympic gold medal together. Bird will turn 40 this year (!?!) and Taurasi will be 38.

Here are the best lines from the legendary four-hour stream that made for one of the best sports nights of quarantine:

1. Bird and Taurasi talked about taunting rookies

Taurasi: “Every time you played rookies, you just wanted to fucking kill them.”

Bird: “Because it’s so easy.”

Taurasi: “It’s physically punking them. It’s mental bullying that takes place right before the ball goes up. It happens in different ways like ‘Oh you had such a great senior year. I’m about to bust your ass right now.’

What a terrifying series of sentences for any 20-something who just got drafted a few weeks ago to hear.

2. Taurasi told us how much she hates big men in basketball

“Why do you need a big man? Big men suck. They can’t dribble, they can’t pass. They can’t fucking shoot.”

I mean, this is only facts.

3. Taurasi told us how little she thinks of analytics and scouting reports

“Sue and I, we talk about analytics and scouting and film and all this bullshit. I’ve played basketball for 30 fucking years. I do whatever the fuck I want every time I step on the court.”

Keep in mind here that her wife, Taylor, is an assistant coach for the Phoenix Mercury. Diana Taurasi plays for the Phoenix Mercury. Lmfao.

4. Taurasi answered a question about what she wants to do after basketball

“Everyone’s like ‘oh do you want to be a coach? Do you want to be a GM?’ NO I WANT TO FUCKING OWN IT [a team.]”

Here for this.

5. Bird picked who she thought will be the best player in the 2020 WNBA draft class.

Taurasi asked Bird who’d she pick as the best player if she had to put a million dollars on it. Here’s how that exchange went.

Taurasi: You have to put a million dollars on who’s going to be the best player in this draft class?

Bird: Chennedy Carter 

Taurasi: I’m going to go with Sabrina

Bird: Fucking pussy

6. Taurasi shared her annoyance with media asking about her players legacies

“When they ask a 24 year old what they want their legacy to be… Bitch you gotta live something.”

Bird and Taurasi got deep here. They did give up their lives for basketball, and we thank them for it.

7. Taurasi reminded us that she called the Pussycat Dolls’ success before it happened

Taurasi: “What’d I tell you that day, Sue? The Pussycat Dolls were going to be famous.”

Bird: “Where are they now?”

Taurasi: “Look at Nicole [Scherzinger.] What do you mean? She’s doing the Masked Voice or some shit.”

Masked Voice… so close!

8. Taurasi told us about the time she got ejected in a game with the Mercury, then ate 100 powdered doughnuts in the arena kitchen

We have no choice but to stan that.

9. Taurasi shared what she’d tell her 18-year-old self

Taurasi: “‘If you were 18 what would you tell Diana’ … well I’d tell her fatass to stop eating, for one. Damn. Baby fat baller.”

10. Taurasi revealed her thoughts on WNBA defenders

“There aren’t any good defenders. There are professional foulers.”

LOL.

11. There was the moment Bird showed us the YouTube video of Taurasi meeting her idol, Argentine football manager Diego Maradona

Bird: “Oh my god. You’re about to watch Diana nut in her pants.”

Her celebration afterwards was unreal.

12. Megan Rapinoe was too drunk and tired to continue

Rapinoe: “Am I wrong? This is going on forever. This is not what IG live is supposed to be. You guys have been on for three fucking hours. I’ve had enough.”

Bird: “Usually we do a send-off song. Megan do you want to come back for this?”

Rapinoe: “No.”

Megan. Could. Not. Hang.

13. Bird remembered Taurasi saying that Steph Curry highlights were just WNBA highlights

She said Tina Thompson could shoot from deeper. I wanna see the tape!

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Stay safe inside pls.

- Matt