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The 13 best moments from Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe and Diana Taurasi's 4-hour IG live
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The 13 best moments from Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe and Diana Taurasi's 4-hour IG live

Need I say more? Cliiick.

Matt Ellentuck
May 4, 2020
10
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The 13 best moments from Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe and Diana Taurasi's 4-hour IG live
mellentuck.substack.com

Good morning.

I’m gonna stop talking now.

Let’s just get to the good stuff.

(And also sorry for the curse words, but I didn’t do it. Sue and Diana did),,,

Here’s Basketball


Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe’s Instagram live show last week with Diana Taurasi and Penny Taylor lasted for more than four hours. It didn’t end until Rapinoe was passed out drunk off-screen, and Taylor begged her wife to log off. This night was survival of the soberest significant other, and the most entertaining unscripted 246 consecutive minutes I’ve ever watched. I’m here to catch you up on everything you missed.

For those who don’t already know, Bird and Taurasi are two of sports’ greatest story-tellers. I wrote about the 30-for-30 podcast they launched a few months ago on the time they played basketball for a Russian spy here. These two have lived multiple lifetimes worth basketball stories, yet they’re still playing in the WNBA and are also pursuing their fifth (!?!) Olympic gold medal together. Bird will turn 40 this year (!?!) and Taurasi will be 38.

Here are the best lines from the legendary four-hour stream that made for one of the best sports nights of quarantine:

1. Bird and Taurasi talked about taunting rookies

Taurasi: “Every time you played rookies, you just wanted to fucking kill them.”

Bird: “Because it’s so easy.”

Taurasi: “It’s physically punking them. It’s mental bullying that takes place right before the ball goes up. It happens in different ways like ‘Oh you had such a great senior year. I’m about to bust your ass right now.’

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Every time you played rookies, you just wanted to fucking kill them.” - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

1 Retweet3 Likes

What a terrifying series of sentences for any 20-something who just got drafted a few weeks ago to hear.

2. Taurasi told us how much she hates big men in basketball

“Why do you need a big man? Big men suck. They can’t dribble, they can’t pass. They can’t fucking shoot.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Why do you need a big man? Big men suck. They can’t dribble, they can’t pass. They can’t fucking shoot.” - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

1 Retweet5 Likes

I mean, this is only facts.

3. Taurasi told us how little she thinks of analytics and scouting reports

“Sue and I, we talk about analytics and scouting and film and all this bullshit. I’ve played basketball for 30 fucking years. I do whatever the fuck I want every time I step on the court.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Sue and I, we talk about analytics and scouting and film and all this bullshit. I’ve played basketball for 30 fucking years. I do whatever the fuck I want every time I step on the court.” - Diana Taurasi, wife of an assistant coach -- who coaches the team she plays for
Image

May 4th 2020

5 Likes

Keep in mind here that her wife, Taylor, is an assistant coach for the Phoenix Mercury. Diana Taurasi plays for the Phoenix Mercury. Lmfao.

4. Taurasi answered a question about what she wants to do after basketball

“Everyone’s like ‘oh do you want to be a coach? Do you want to be a GM?’ NO I WANT TO FUCKING OWN IT [a team.]”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Everyone’s like ‘oh do you want to be a coach? Do you want to be a GM?’ NO I WANT TO FUCKING OWN IT [a team.]” - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

2 Likes

Here for this.

5. Bird picked who she thought will be the best player in the 2020 WNBA draft class.

Taurasi asked Bird who’d she pick as the best player if she had to put a million dollars on it. Here’s how that exchange went.

Taurasi: You have to put a million dollars on who’s going to be the best player in this draft class?

Bird: Chennedy Carter 

…

Taurasi: I’m going to go with Sabrina

Bird: Fucking pussy

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
Taurasi: You have to put a million dollars on who’s going to be the best player in this draft class? Bird: Chennedy Carter ... Taurasi: I’m going to go with Sabrina Bird: Fucking pussy
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May 4th 2020

3 Likes

6. Taurasi shared her annoyance with media asking about her players legacies

“When they ask a 24 year old what they want their legacy to be… Bitch you gotta live something.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“When they ask a 24 year old what they want their legacy to be… Bitch you gotta live something.” - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

1 Like

Bird and Taurasi got deep here. They did give up their lives for basketball, and we thank them for it.

7. Taurasi reminded us that she called the Pussycat Dolls’ success before it happened

Taurasi: “What’d I tell you that day, Sue? The Pussycat Dolls were going to be famous.”

Bird: “Where are they now?”

Taurasi: “Look at Nicole [Scherzinger.] What do you mean? She’s doing the Masked Voice or some shit.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
Taurasi: “What’d I tell you that day, Sue? The Pussycat Dolls were going to be famous.” Bird: “Where are they now?” Taurasi: “Look at Nicole [Scherzinger.] What do you mean? She’s doing the Masked Voice or some shit.”
Image

May 4th 2020

Masked Voice… so close!

8. Taurasi told us about the time she got ejected in a game with the Mercury, then ate 100 powdered doughnuts in the arena kitchen

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
the story when diana taurasi ate 100 powdered doughnuts after getting ejected
Image

May 4th 2020

We have no choice but to stan that.

9. Taurasi shared what she’d tell her 18-year-old self

Taurasi: “‘If you were 18 what would you tell Diana’ … well I’d tell her fatass to stop eating, for one. Damn. Baby fat baller.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“‘If you were 18 what would you tell Diana…’ well I’d tell her fatass to stop eating, for one. Damn. Baby fat baller." - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

10. Taurasi revealed her thoughts on WNBA defenders

“There aren’t any good defenders. There are professional foulers.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“There aren’t any good defenders. There are professional foulers.” - Diana Taurasi
Image

May 4th 2020

1 Like

LOL.

11. There was the moment Bird showed us the YouTube video of Taurasi meeting her idol, Argentine football manager Diego Maradona

Bird: “Oh my god. You’re about to watch Diana nut in her pants.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Oh my god. You’re about to watch Diana nut in her pants.” - Sue Bird
Image

May 4th 2020

Her celebration afterwards was unreal.

12. Megan Rapinoe was too drunk and tired to continue

Rapinoe: “Am I wrong? This is going on forever. This is not what IG live is supposed to be. You guys have been on for three fucking hours. I’ve had enough.”

Bird: “Usually we do a send-off song. Megan do you want to come back for this?”

Rapinoe: “No.”

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
“Am I wrong? This is going on forever. This is not what IG live is supposed to be. You guys have been on for three fucking hours. I’ve had enough.” - Megan Rapinoe
Image

May 4th 2020

2 Likes

Megan. Could. Not. Hang.

13. Bird remembered Taurasi saying that Steph Curry highlights were just WNBA highlights

Twitter avatar for @mellentuckMatt Ellentuck @mellentuck
"Steph Curry highlights are just WNBA highlights."
Image

May 4th 2020

1 Like

She said Tina Thompson could shoot from deeper. I wanna see the tape!

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Stay safe inside pls.

- Matt

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